Monday, August 17, 2009


The cold air followed me inside. He was the first thing I noticed. The icy air became a flame. Cowboy boots, blue jeans and stubble on a godly face. I came in to order hot chocolate but now the thought of sugar made me sick. I suddenly wanted salt. Salty face. Salty prickly facial hair stabbing my lips and my tongue. So I stood there, stupidly. We’d only met once. I knew his name and wanted to say it but I didn’t, I just stared at him, hoping he wouldn’t look up. Glasses clanked, other people laughed, cappuccino machines whirred and I listened to him type. May I help you, came from somewhere, a kid screamed for no reason and I took a deep breath. Can I get a mug of whip cream? Oh God, why did I ask that. But she didn’t bat an eye.

I stared at him the entire time I waited for my ridiculous order. I could smell chocolate so I imagined him eating chocolate. I imagined him naked. And my scarf started to soak up the sweat around my neck.

He looked up at me. I smiled. He smiled and tilted his head in that, I-know-you kind of way. Hi, he said.

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